


Chasing Dreams

by Dressed_In_Darkness



Series: Chasing Summer [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-02 15:58:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5254424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dressed_In_Darkness/pseuds/Dressed_In_Darkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of short stories for the work <em>Chasing Summer</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reunited

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are with the first short story for Chasing Summer. This was originally supposed to be about the Christmas/go away party, as well, but it started getting _way too long_. So I decided it would be best to just split it into two parts. This first part takes place right after the last chapter of Chasing Summer. 
> 
> Okay, let me explain the nature of this fic a bit. It won't really be a fic. It will be a series of short stories put in chronological order. I also have no idea how often I'll update, seeing as I'm going to be focusing on other writing projects. So, basically, this is just for fun. This is for the people that wanted a little more about these characters. Honestly, it's dedicated to them. 
> 
> With all that now out in the open, go on and read. :)

Being next to Eren again felt surreal, like I’d wandered into a dream that someone carefully shaped into my reality. He sat next to me on the bench seat of Petra’s truck as I drove to my house, smelling of eucalyptus and juniper berries, my winter sun coming to melt away the snow. I couldn’t stop looking at him, at all the small differences that I wanted to become familiar with. He was a big enough distraction to cause me to drift off the road several times.

            With a knowing smile that made my heart flutter in my chest, he said, “Pull over before you crash. Let me drive the rest of the way.”

            “Do you even have your license?” I asked, though I was already steering the truck onto the shoulder of the road. The snow chains on the wheels made it easy, yet I still managed to screw it up by slamming my foot down on the brakes, which caused the truck to jerk forward before it came to a stop. It was so obvious that I was nervous. Fuck.

            Eren turned to me, looking cheerful. “Nope, but you can help me. Watch.” Moving my hands away from the steering wheel, he climbed onto my lap. Then he wrapped my arms around his waist. “Ready to be my driving instructor, Mr. Ackerman?”

            I tightened my hold on him, pressing my forehead between his shoulder blades as I inhaled his scent. Letting out a long, shaky breath, I willed myself to believe that he was really here; that this wasn’t a dream I’d crafted to bring him back to me somehow. I’d spent so many nights wishing for this that it was hard for me to wrap my head around it. But how I wanted it to be real, how I longed for our lives to intertwine and become so mingled up that nothing would be able to tear us apart.

            “Tell me what you're thinking," Eren whispered, leaning his head back on top of mine.

            “How I don’t want to close my eyes, because I’m afraid this will all disappear.”

            “It won’t. I’m here to stay.” Putting his hand over mine, he laced his fingers through mine. He brought our knotted hands up to his lips and kissed my palm. “Do I feel like a dream to you?”

            “You’re the only dream I’ve had for a long time now.”

            “Well,” he said as he swiveled around in the seat until he was straddling me. He draped his arms over my shoulders, leaning down to kiss my neck as he whispered, “You feel very real to me, Levi Ackerman.” His lips skimmed over my skin, leaving behind a trail of goose bumps. When they reached my lips, I could taste the next set of words he spoke on my tongue. “And still, your mouth on my mouth makes me think of all the beautiful poems I’ve read.”

            I traced the contours of his inner thigh with my fingertips and decided to recite one I’d memorized for him: “ _‘I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine, so you know there’s nothing but light when I see you.’_ ”

            “I’ve never heard that one before.” He leaned back to look me in the eye. “Did you read poetry while I was gone?”

            “I might have,” I admitted.

            “Oh my god. You did. Ugh, you’re so perfect.”

            Trying to direct his attention away from my burning cheeks, because he was still the only person in the world that could make me blush, I said, “We’re going to get stranded out here, if we don’t get back on the road. It’s snowing pretty hard out. Didn’t you want to drive?”

            Like I expected, he quickly turned around and slapped his hands on the steering wheel. “I’m ready! Tell me what to do.”

            “Okay. First thing: After you have your foot down on the brakes, put the truck in drive.” I waited for him to do as I instructed before I went on, “Now ease your foot off the pedal and hit the gas.” The truck jolted so hard that I slammed into his back. “Slowly, Eren.”

            “I’m trying!” he squealed in excitement. “The pedal is touchy. I swear I barely even pressed on it. It was such a tiny press. Like this.” He held up his thumb and forefinger, moving them together until there was hardly any space between them. He made sure I saw it before he put his hand back on the steering wheel.

            “That tiny, huh?”      

            “Yes. So tiny. Now let’s do this thing.”

            After Eren managed to get the truck back on the road, which took an unbelievable amount of time, I slid my hands down his arms until my fingers reached his. Linking them, I turned my head to the side and whispered instructions against the skin of his neck. He shivered; grasp tightening on the steering wheel as he did the exact opposite of what I’d just told him to do. When he noticed his mistake, he groaned, and I smiled because I was enjoying his reaction.

            “You’re not playing fair,” he grumbled in a throaty voice.   

            “I didn’t know I was supposed to be playing fair.” I kissed him right behind his ear and whispered, “Your heart is beating so fast. I can feel it here.” I touched the pad of my thumb to his inner wrist, right where his vein was.

            He swallowed noisily. “That’s because I didn’t think this was how tonight would turn out. I thought that you would need more time to, I don’t know, come to terms with my state of… _alive_ ness.”

            “I’ve had enough time away from you to know that I don’t want, or need, more time away from you. For the record, I didn’t think this was how tonight would turn out, either. Oh, and you’re also driving way too close to the edge of the road.”

            Letting out a small squeak, Eren redirected the truck toward the center of the road, away from danger. Radiating determination, he sat up straight, and rolled his shoulders back into the seat (more like my face). “Okay, no more distractions. I will drive us home, and I will do it now.”

            That was easier said than done. Eren was an impractical driver, one of those people that drove as though they were racing in _Mario Kart_. He treated the wheel like it was a plaything rather than something that controlled the truck. If I didn’t have my hands over his, guiding him through the motions, he would’ve driven us straight into a ditch. It would’ve been easier for me to take over, to get us home safely, but he looked so happy that I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

            When he turned onto the dirt road that led to the house, I allowed myself to relax, and instantly realized how close he was. His back was pressed to my front, the pattern of his breathing mirroring mine. It felt like a small eternity had passed since I’d held him this way, but time could not erase how my body knew his, how it responded to it. Even though we spent so much time apart, here I was, no less in love with him.  

            “Hey,” I said as he parked under the carport with as much grace as a rhino in heels, “stay with me.”

            He turned the key in the ignition, bathing us in darkness and silence. “Until time stops.”

            “Not ‘until the stars burn out?’”

            “That was all I could give you back then, but things are different now. I’ve come too far to give you up.”

            I said, “So don’t give me up.”

            “Not ever.”

            I pushed open the door and waited for him to step out before I did. Automatically, out of habit, I reached back to grab an oxygen tank that wasn’t there. Eren noticed this. I opened my mouth to explain, but he just shook his head, reaching out his hand to take mine. Without saying anything, he tugged on me until I fell into step with him. As we walked up the pathway, I kept my eyes on him. He was breathing evenly, without any effort.

            “How does it feel?” I asked.

            “To be able to breathe again?” he said. I nodded. “Literally unbelievable. After the surgery, I had so much recovering to do that I couldn’t even focus on how it felt to breathe again. But once I was stable, I just sat there on the hospital bed for a long time, breathing. It was such an incredible moment for me that I started to cry, and my dad and the nurse thought I was in some sort of pain, but I was just…happy. I was so happy.” He looked over at me. “Then I thought about you, and I got sad all over again, because I wanted you there.”

            “I would’ve come. All you had to do was call.”

            He squeezed my hand. “I know, _mon amour_ , but there could’ve been complications. I wanted to make sure that nothing would go wrong. Then, before I knew it, the end of December was drawing near, and I remembered that your birthday was on Christmas. That’s when I came up with my plan.”

            “And now we’re here.”

            “Yes, now we’re here.”

            Reaching the front door, I slipped the key into the knob and turned it. As we stepped inside, I remembered what my room looked like, how my ceiling was brimming with paper cranes and my walls were covered in pictures he’d taken. I froze in the entryway, suddenly shy. What would he think? He didn’t know how miserable and heartbroken I’d been after he left, how I spent weeks upon weeks lying in bed, losing track of time on purpose.

            “It hasn’t changed,” Eren said, sounding genuinely happy about it. “I thought you would’ve packed everything up by now.”

            “No. This house is paid off. I could have put it up for sale, but you said that this was our home, so…” I trailed off, shrugging.

            He turned to me. “You never believed I was dead, did you?”

            “No,” I told him. “Everyone thought I was in denial, which I kind of was, but something wouldn’t let me believe it. Being here without you was getting hard, though. That’s why I decided it would be easier to live somewhere else, somewhere far away.”

            He took my other hand, stepping around to face me. “And where is this ‘far away’ place you chose?”

            “Portland, Oregon.”

            Taking a step closer to me, effectively erasing the space between us, he said, “What does the apartment you picked out look like?”

            I looked up at him. His face was so close to mine, our lips almost touching. It was making it hard to think straight. “I could show you, if you want. I bought a laptop, so I can get Internet—”

            “No. Describe it to me. I want to know why you picked it.”

            Our chests came together, and his hand moved from my hand to my face. I leaned into his touch, my eyes closing of their own accord. Words started tumbling out of my mouth, though I was sure that I didn’t possess the brain capacity to form sentences right now. “Uh,” I breathed as his lips brushed mine, “it’s a studio apartment. It’s small, but it has everything I need.” I licked my bottom lip, and his eyes followed the movement. “But the reason I picked it out is because it’s attached to an art studio. You’d love it.”

            He leaned back, our eyes meeting as he said, “You got me an art studio, even after I left the way I did? I…” He didn’t finish his sentence, pressing his mouth against mine instead. I held him close, memorizing, again, the feel of him. Though I hadn’t really forgotten. No part of me had forgotten how it felt to have him in my arms. I’d spent months aching for it. “I love you so much, Levi.”

            I touched my forehead to his. “I love you, too.”

            Right then, Eren’s cell phone buzzed in his pocket. He jerked and quickly dug it out. He glanced at the screen. “It’s my dad,” he explained. “He’s wondering how everything went. I’m going to gloat and tell him how fantastic everything is going. Can you believe that he thought that you moved on from me?”

            “He told me.”

            Eren’s mouth dropped open. “I should’ve known.”

            “Don’t worry. I made it pretty clear that I wasn’t anywhere near over you.”

            At that, he straightened up, a grin spreading across his face. “Good.”

            Tapping one last thing into his phone, he placed it on the entry table, and then dragged me down the hallway toward my room. I didn’t even have time to come up with something to say. One minute we were out in the hallway, the next he was pushing open my door. I stood still, gauging his reaction as his eyes wandered over all the cranes hanging from the ceiling. Then they drifted over the pictures on the walls and something inside my stomach pinched.

            “Wow,” he said, still looking at the evidence of my longing.

            Embarrassed, I blurted out, “Yeah, I know—”

            “It’s amazing,” he finished, smiling. “You folded one thousand cranes.”

            “For you.”

            “Did your wish come true?” His smiled softened, because he knew that it had.

            “My wish is standing right in front of me.”

            “What a coincidence. So is mine.”

            I pulled him closer to me, spinning him around at the same time to pin him against the wall. In my hurry, his shoulder hit the light switch, but the room stayed dark. The power must’ve gone out due to the snowstorm. I didn’t mind, but now that I was paying attention, I noticed it was freezing in here. Pressing my lips to his jaw, feeling the shudder that went through him the second my lips made contact with his skin, I whispered, “The power’s out.”

            Eren swallowed hard enough to make his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. “Um, w-what do you want to do?”

            “We could sleep by the fireplace.”

            “That sounds”—I nipped a trail to the base of his throat, unable to control myself—“mm, nice. Do you have any clothes here?”

            “Not a lot,” I said. “But I could find something for us to sleep in. Hold on.” I turned around and walked over to my dresser. The first two drawers were filled with nothing but tattered clothing, but the third drawer had an acceptable pair of sweatpants. I tossed them to him, and then went in search of more clothes in my closet. In there, I found pajama pants and two white tank tops. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing.

            “Well,” Eren said, unbuttoning his coat, “I hope you still have some blankets out.”

            “I do.” When he shrugged out of his coat, I turned around to give him some privacy. I was suddenly aware of how many months it’d been since I’d last seen him naked. “Uh, if I would’ve known you’d be here, I would have unpacked some better clothes.”

            “These will work fine. Hey, Levi?”

            “Yeah?”

            “Turn around.”

            I clenched and unclenched my hands at my sides; nerves making my stomach twist into knots. “Are you sure? It’s fine if we don’t do anything tonight. I just want to be here with you.”

            “I know that, but I want to show you something.”

            “Okay,” I said, turning around. He’d already taken off his shirt, which gave me a clear view of his chest. Though it was dark, I could still make out the deep scar that started at one armpit, went across the front of his chest in a misshapen ‘w’, and then ended at the other armpit. Something inside of me broke at the sight. “I wish you would have let me be there for you. I would’ve been there every day. I…” I couldn’t go on, my voice catching in my throat.

            He came up to me. “Don’t look at it like it’s a bad thing. I made it, Levi. I survived. This”—he touched the scar with his fingers—“is a sign that I did.”

            Following his example, I lifted my hand up and ran my fingertips over the scar that had saved his life. I pictured the healthy lungs that were inside him now, doing the job that his old lungs had failed to do. And then, suddenly, I realized how remarkable it was that he was standing here in front of me. This moment, with my hand pressed over his, was a miracle.

            I peered up at him, at the long locks of hair that framed his face: the small differences that I already loved, because they were a part of him. The past four months couldn’t hurt me anymore. Now was all that mattered. Being here with him erased the aching and the countless nights I’d spent yearning to see his face again. I’d gotten my wish, and I was going to cherish it every day I was given.  

            “Wait a minute,” Eren chimed in, breaking the silence, “is that a guitar?”

            I followed the direction of his gaze, spotting the black acoustic guitar I’d bought two months ago. “Yeah.”

            “Is it yours?”

            “Yes, but I can’t play much.” I waited for him to ask what I could play, but he just strolled over to where the guitar leaned against my desk. He picked it up and strummed the strings, the sound of it filling the room. Then he held it out to me.

            “Play me something?” he asked.

            I worried at my bottom lip, staring at the guitar for a few seconds before I took it from him. I slung the leather strap over my head, something I’d done more times than I cared to admit, and let my fingers find the chords I’d picked out while remembering our time together. Without looking at him, I played the beginning of a song I’d written weeks ago. The words I didn’t sing aloud sounded in my head, my sorrow molded into lyrics.

            Eren searched my eyes and watched my mouth form words that I couldn’t voice. “Sing,” he prompted.

            I shut my eyes, because it was a lot easier that way. Then, with a lump in my throat, I began to sing a song I thought he'd never hear.

 

_Aching in your bones_

_Searching for a love_

_Life has left you feeling alone_

 

            As I sang, my voice a mixture of sorrow and anguish, Eren came to stand behind me. The heat of his body warmed my back as he leaned in close, lips brushing my nape as he put his hands on my hips. “Keep going,” he whispered.

 

_Drifting through a fog_

_Direction becomes lost_

_In the fear all hope is gone_

 

            “Is that song about me?” he asked, breath hot on my skin, making the little hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

            I opened my eyes and stilled my fingers, the echo of chords lingering in the room. “Yes.”

            Using his hold on my hips, he turned me around and slipped his fingers beneath the strap on my shoulder. He coaxed it over my head and quickly set the guitar off to the side. Then he was kissing me, his mouth urgent on mine. It felt familiar, yet new, heightened by a hunger both of us possessed from being separated for so long. Our lips broke apart for mere seconds before they were connected again. This was something new. Before, Eren’s breathing became labored almost right away, but now, although harsh, it stayed even.

            Still, I asked, “You okay?”

            As he unzipped my jacket, he answered, “Yes.” He grabbed the hem of my shirt and pushed it up until I lifted my arms. When it was off of me completely, he stepped back, eyes drinking in the sight of my bare torso. “God, I want you so bad.”

            We tumbled back toward the bed, all my senses centered on him. It was just the two of us here in this shabby house, finally together again.


	2. More Than Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost_   
>  _But you'll never see the end of the road_   
>  _While you're traveling with me_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After an entire month, I'm finally updating this bad boy. I'm going to warn you now: It's five in the morning and I'm tired, so I didn't bother proof reading this. Yet I was too excited _not_ to post it tonight, so if you come across some grammar mistakes or misspellings, I apologize. But enough of that. I missed my boys. When I started writing, I was just overwhelmed with how much I missed writing these two precious dorks.
> 
> I'm talking too much, as per usual, but this short story is a little (maybe a lot) humorous and sweet. Please enjoy it, because we all know _Chasing Summer_ was sad enough.

The first thing I saw when I woke up the next morning was Eren’s sleep-crumpled face, which made my heart clench in my chest. God, he was beautiful, and he was here. Last night hadn’t been a dream. Long before he left town, he’d told me to wait for him. Throughout all the pain and doubt, I had, holding onto a thin string of hope that one day he would return to me. In the end, he did. I couldn’t even begin to deal with this overwhelming sense of happiness.

            Seeing him here, looking so peaceful in sleep, filled me with a yearning I couldn’t control. So, biting my lip, I snuggled closer to him and buried my face in the crook of his neck. He let out a low hum when my lips made contact with his skin. I felt the vibrations of his voice go through my cheek as I slipped my index finger beneath the band of his boxers to snap it against his skin.

            “I’m sleeping,” he grumbled, but moved closer to me nonetheless.

            “Well, wake up already. I’ll make you breakfast.”

            He opened one eye, which was partially hidden beneath his hair. Fuck me. His long hair did things to me. “Pancakes?”

            “Anything you want.”

            “Pancakes,” he confirmed right before he flung himself onto his back. He wiggled his hips, a crooked smirk lifting one corner of his mouth.

            “What?” I asked.

            He turned to face me, propping his head up on his hand. “My back hurts. You showed no mercy last night.”

            In one second flat, my face heated up to the point that I felt the need to lift the blanket in order to hide myself. “I couldn’t help it!” I said too loudly, embarrassed. Was I really that rough with him? “It’s been four months.”

            “You’re acting like I minded it.” Shoving me back onto the bed with enough force to knock the wind out of me, Eren straddled my hips, pulling the blanket down until my face was revealed. He never broke eye contact with me as he said, “You can take me like that any time.”

            Well, there was a friendly reminder that he could make me experience heart failure within a matter of seconds. All I could do was stare up at him, because my brain was incapable of functioning, let alone forming thoughts that could be translated into words. It amazed me how he could leave me utterly speechless with just a simple sentence. Even after all this time, I was still wrapped around his little finger.

            Eren gave my forehead a gentle flick when I didn’t respond. “You’re zoning out.”

            “And whose fault is that?”

            “Definitely not mine.”

            “Uh-huh.”

            “Shh, let’s get up and make pancakes.” He rolled off the bed with as much finesse as a toddler. Then he looked at me over his shoulder. “C’mon already.” Giving me one final warning glare, he left the room. I could hear him rummaging around in the bathroom, and I hoped that the power was back on. Otherwise we were going to be taking cold showers.

            Kicking the blanket off, I sat up and stretched my arms above my head with a small grin on my face. I felt loose-limbed and stress free, like I could conquer the world, if I wanted to. That was the power of having sex with Eren. Suddenly, my thoughts caught up to me. I froze in place and thanked whatever higher power existed that Eren couldn’t hear what I was thinking. I embarrassed myself enough already without that hanging over my head.

            I willed myself out of bed and walked down the hallway to join Eren in the bathroom. He was sitting on the edge of the sink, holding one of the new toothbrushes I always seemed to have tucked away in one of the drawers. When he saw my reflection in the mirror, he turned around and pointed it at me as though he were wielding a sharp object.

            “So I just got a text from Jean,” he said. “Him and Petra are on their way over here, so no pancakes.”

            I grabbed my toothbrush. “I can still make you pancakes.”

            “They’re bringing over some food, and Jean says we need to be ready soon, because he’s taking you out for a ‘Birthday Bash’. Know anything about that?”

            I groaned as I started brushing my teeth. “Ish a shupid tradition.”

            “Hold on. He’s texting me the details.”

            I watched him as he read over the text message. I knew what this was about, but I had forgotten all about it. Every year on my birthday, Jean and Petra would take me out to Gayle’s Peak to take a shot of some overpriced vodka that they stole from Petra’s parents the night before. It wasn’t anything special, but Jean always insisted on doing it, so I knew that I wasn’t going to get out of this no matter what excuses I came up with.

            After I spat out a mouthful of toothpaste in the sink, I said, “It’s no big deal. We just go up to Gayle’s Peak and toast to me making it through another year. That’s it.”

            “That doesn’t sound like a stupid tradition to me.” His eyes widened and he added, “Oh, before I forget, my dad dropped by while we were sleeping and left my duffel bag out front. Do you mind getting it for me?”

            “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

            I walked out of the bathroom and into the hallway, realizing how today was turning out to be completely different than what I had expected it to be. I thought that today would be filled with forced interactions while I pretended to be okay with everything. It never once occurred to me that I would be spending it with Eren. Yesterday that was an unrealistic dream. Today it was reality. Life had a funny way of reminding you that nothing was predictable.

            When I opened the front door, I saw that Eren’s duffel bag had been set on the providence bench that looked older than your average senior citizen. I grabbed the strap and slung it over my shoulder before I made my way back into the house. Even from here, I could hear the shower running and I had half a mind to avoid the bathroom at all costs. I didn’t want to get carried away and be rough with Eren all over again.

            Cautiously, I walked to the bathroom and opened the door. “I’ll just leave the duffel bag here,” I said loud enough to be heard over the running water. I quickly put the bag on the lid of the toilet, but before I could even back away the shower curtain was yanked to the side.

            Eren glared at me, wet hair pushed back in the sexiest way ever. “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked.

            “Um…”

            “Get over here right now, Levi Ackerman.”

            Determined to leave, I admitted, “Listen, I don’t want to be rough with you again, which I will be, because I have no self control right now.”

            With a wicked little smirk that made my heart rate spike, he said, “Then let me be rough with you.”

            Oh, God. My heart could not handle this.

            He crooked his finger, beckoning me closer. “Get in here.”

            Of course I went in after that. I mean, who could deny _that?_

           

(x)

 

            None of us had been up to Gayle’s Peak since the night Eren confessed that he had a crush on me. That felt so long ago, a deluge of memories, but how could I ever forget it? It was the beginning of what we had become, of what we still were. I’d hold onto that memory for as long as I could.

            After Petra parked next to the railing that overlooked a forest that was hidden beneath a thick layer of snow this morning, all of us lumbered out of the truck. It was freezing, the wind biting right through the heavy coat I wore, so I flung myself against Eren. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on the top of my head. I wanted a lifetime of moments like this.

            While we huddled together for warmth, Jean hopped up on the hood of the truck, clutching the bottle of vodka as if it were something precious. He stretched his arms out and said, “I can already feel my balls receding into my body.”

            “Jean, don’t start,” Petra warned, giving him a death glare that would make any mom proud.

            He winked at her. “Don’t get ahead of yourself now, baby. The fun is about to begin, so bust out that shot glass and let’s get this show on the road.” He leaned to the side and yanked on the collar of my coat. “Levi, get your pale ass up here.”

            I moved closer to Eren. He smelled good. I wanted to stay right here. “I’m cold,” I mumbled.

            Jean rolled his eyes in the most dramatic way. “If you don’t get up here, I’m going to drag you up here and it will involve partial nudity.”

            “Ugh,” I groaned, because I wouldn’t put it past him to strip in this weather. “Fine. I’m coming. Just keep your ass covered.” Grabbing Eren’s hand, I walked up to the hood of the truck and lifted myself up onto it, which wasn’t as easy as it was for everyone else. Being short sucked sometimes. “I’m here, so let’s get this over with.”

            With a small smile on her face, Petra set the shot glass beside me. Jean was quick to unscrew the cap of the bottle of vodka after that, and wasted no time in pouring a heaping amount of it into the glass. I picked it up once he was through and said, “To the best year of my life,” because I’d met Eren this year, but no one needed to hear that. I downed the drink in one fell swoop, which was a mistake. “Shit. That tastes awful.”

            “Give it here,” Jean said, already reaching for the glass. I handed it over and watched him refill it. Then he drank it down just as fast as I had. “Whoo! Damn. That’s some nasty shit.” He held the glass out to Petra. “You’re up next.”

            “Can’t. I’m the designated driver.”

            Jean turned to Eren. “You?”

            Eren shook his head. “I don’t think that would mix well with the meds I’m on.”

            “Then it’s up to you and me, Levi,” Jean said while he poured another glass. “Let’s take a shot for the both of them.”

            I was a lightweight, so I didn’t feel up to it. No one wanted to see me tipsy, but when Jean pushed the glass into my hand, I drank it down without much thought. It took several minutes for this one to hit me, but when it did, my entire body warmed up in an unnatural way. I leaned toward Eren, wanting him to hold me. He scrutinized my face before he cupped my cheeks.

            “You okay?” he asked.

            His eyes looked amazing. His whole face looked amazing. “You’re so sexy with long hair,” I said without thinking.

            He grinned. “I think you’re buzzed.”

            “I think you’re sexy even when I’m sober.” I wanted to shut up, because I had now nabbed the attention of Jean, who would most likely call me out on this.

            Eren grabbed the front of my coat and tugged me toward him until our lips met. I didn’t even care that we had an audience. I proved this when I got up on my knees and straddled him. Maybe I was tipsier than I thought. Even so, I couldn’t bring myself to stop. There was a part of me that still couldn’t believe that he was here with me, that this wasn’t a dream. How many times had I dreamt of him just to wake up alone? I’d lost count.

            “Slow down,” Jean said while giving my shoulder a few pats. “You’re eating his face off, Levi.”

            I broke the kiss and leaned my head against Eren’s shoulder. “I love him,” I said, once again not thinking before I spoke. Wow, I needed to go home. Where was my brain when I needed it the most? It completely abandoned me.

            Eren slid his fingers into my hair, drawing me closer to him. “You’re so cute right now.”

            Jean mumbled, “Don’t encourage him, Eren.”

            “I can’t help it. He’s cute.”

            I had enough brain capacity left to stop myself from saying anything more, but I didn’t think I could keep it up for much longer, so I dragged Eren off the truck and led him away. There wasn’t really anywhere to go up here. Just up ahead were the five boulders that hid the sex box, which made me wonder if people still stocked it for those in need at desperate times. There was only one way to find out.

            I stomped forward with a newfound determination, but didn’t make it far before Eren asked, “Do you really think I look sexy with long hair?”

            There was no reason to lie to him. “Hell yes.”

            “So I shouldn’t cut it?”

            I cut him a sideways glance. He was blushing, which was adorable. “It’s up to you.”

            “Be honest.”

            “Keep it for a while. I want to tug on it.” What the hell just came out of my mouth? The vodka was betraying me in the worst of ways. I literally had no control over what I said out loud. This was a code red situation.

            Eren smiled wide. “I should get you tipsy more often.”

            “Please, no. I’m seconds away from dying of embarrassment.”

            “Why? I like hearing what you think about me. After all, you never did tell me about your fantasies. Maybe now is a good time to coax this information out of you.”

            I glared at him long and hard. He was going to use my tipsiness to his advantage. I had to figure out a way to distract him, because I was pretty sure that if he asked me about my fantasies, the truth would just spill right out of me whether I liked it or not. I cursed the moment that Jean came up with this tradition. What good came out of drinking? Absolutely nothing.

            While I tried to think of a way to keep my mouth glued shut, Eren said, “I’m honestly curious if you fantasize about me.”

            “Do you fantasize me?”

            “Um, duh. Before the surgery, I couldn’t really do much physically, but now I can, and I plan to fulfill some of those fantasies.”

            My throat went bone dry and I swallowed several times in hopes of regaining some form of composure, because my heart was beating as if it were attempting to win a race. “Fulfill what fantasies?”

            “Nope. Not-uh. I’m not telling you mine unless you tell me yours.”

            _What?!_

\---

_ Eren _

Levi hadn’t said anything since I told him that I wouldn’t tell him about my fantasies unless he told me his. I honestly thought that would work in my favor, but apparently not. He was determined to keep them from me. I couldn’t understand why. I wanted to know everything about him, from his fantasies to his deepest thoughts. Why did he have to be so closed off when it came to certain things?

            As he dug through the sex box, I leaned up against the nearest boulder, watching him. His cheeks were tinged pink from the alcohol, his raven-black hair making them stick out to the point that I felt the need to touch his skin. I loved him so much. Being here with him again made me realize just how much I did love him. Our love had been tested and had won in the end.

            “Look,” he said, turning around to show me a bottle of lube. “It’s cherry flavored.”

            I raised an eyebrow. “Want to use it on me?” I teased.

            He looked at me for a long time, like he was thinking hard about something, and then he pocketed the lube. I laughed. I was so happy just standing here with him. Could he tell how much he affected me? When I left Shiganshina all those months ago, I’d been scared that I would hurt him too deeply, that he’d chase away the memory of me, just like I’d asked him to. But I never wanted him to forget me. I wanted him to hold onto me until we met again, whether it was in this life or the next.

            “You really waited for me,” I said.

            Levi turned to me, the wind blowing his hair to the side. “Of course I did.”

            “Why?”

            “You asked me to, and because I love you. I’d be waiting for you even if you hadn’t showed up at the beach last night.”

            How many love poems had I read throughout my life? Too many to remember all of them, but before I’d met him, they were just pretty words that painted illusions in my mind. I never believed them. They weren’t real to me, because I couldn’t identify with what the poet was trying to convey. I always thought that love was a lie, a wondrous thing someone made up. Now I knew it was as real as real could get.

            “ _‘All I have to do is look at you to know that with you, I am going to soak my soul’_ ,” I quoted to him, wanting him to know that he gave those beautiful words meaning, that they were nothing but letters pushed together until he loved me.

            “Want to marry me?” he asked.

            I closed my eyes and let those words sink it. I could marry him now, couldn’t I? I could move in with him and we could start a life together. I never thought that would be possible.

            “Eren, why are you crying?”

            I opened my eyes and offered him a watery smile. “Because I’m happy.” I lifted my left hand to show him the promise ring that he’d given me. “I don’t think you realize how badly I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so yes, I want to marry you.”

            He came up to me and kissed my lips as if they were fragile. Then he pressed his forehead to mine, which took him getting up on his tippy toes. “This is the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

            “Is that the alcohol talking?” I joked.

            Levi leaned back to look me in the eyes. “I love you, Eren. I want to wake up every morning and see your face. I want to cook meals with you and watch you draw and just live my day-to-day life with you. You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been.”

            I started crying harder, unable to control it. I knew that this wasn’t going to be easy, that we would come across problems, but there was no one else in the world that I wanted to fight for. Relationships took work, but I was willing to work to keep this one intact, because I loved him more than words could express. How had I been lucky enough to find him? If my dad never suggested moving to a small town, where would I be right now?

            “Are you two humping?” Jean called from somewhere behind us.

            Levi sighed. I laughed.

            “Let’s head back,” I said, taking his hand.

            As we started walking down the path that would lead us back to the truck, I realized that we had reached another starting point. We were on the brink of another journey.

            I turned my head to look at Levi and smiled. I couldn’t be more ready to start my life with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think?? I don't know why I'm so excited. Maybe because it's literally been a month since I've written about my babes. 
> 
> Anywho, I hope you enjoyed! And whoever is sticking around to read these, just know that I love you. <3


	3. Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _You_   
>  _Forever echo inside_   
>  _I just want to be close_   
>  _Addicted to close_   
>  _Addicted to you_   
>  _Forever_   
>  _Forever_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been 85 years since I updated this and I'm incredibly sorry for that. As it is, I was encouraged to update this by someone who won a writing prompt contest on my Instagram account. So this is for you. <3

Eren

The day before Levi left for Portland, he hustled me into Petra’s truck at seven in the morning without any explanation as to where we were going. Though curiosity was making me fidget in my seat, I didn’t ask him. I could tell by the smile that had taken up residence on his face that this was meant to be a surprise for me, so I wasn’t about to ruin it with my pestering. Instead, I reached across the bench seat and slipped my hand into his. His fingers slid through mine automatically, perfect and belonging. The feel of his skin on mine conjured up lines of poetry that I’d read at some point or another. I recited them in my head and grinned. Every poem, every word that had ever been written by one of my favorite poets was nothing in comparison to having him by my side once again.

            “Tell me,” Levi said, drumming his fingers on the top of my hand.

            “Hmm?”

            “Don’t ‘hmm’ me. I know the face you make when you think of poems. Tell me. I want to hear it.”

            How I loved him, this beautiful boy who could read me like a book.

            “ _‘Time has no meaning. Love will endure,’_ ” I said, tasting the words as they left my mouth. Poetry always had a way of doing that, emitting beauty into the world like something physical.

            Levi gave my hand a gentle squeeze. “Hey. I love you.”

            “I love you too, _mon amour.”_

We lapsed into silence, and I looked at Shiganshina pass us by in a series of memories that I would never forget. This town had brought me everything, such happiness, such despair. I couldn’t believe that today was my last day here. Levi would be coming back to visit Jean and Petra on a regular basis, but never again would he live in Kenny’s house, which I considered our home, the place we built for ourselves as we were falling in love with each other. I knew that he needed a fresh start somewhere new, but I would always miss this town. Maybe somewhere down the road, we’d end up here again.

            As we passed the _Welcome to Shiganshina_ sign—the one I’d painted on all those months ago—I remembered that Levi’s new apartment was attached to an artist’s studio. I’d never imagined having one of my own. Before my surgery, a lot of things seemed impossible and completely out of reach. Now everything was within my grasp. Thinking about the future was no longer sad and depressing. It was happiness waiting to unfold.

            “I’m a little surprised that you haven’t asked me where we’re going,” Levi commented, flashing me a crooked smile when I wrinkled my nose at him.

            “I can be patient.”

            “Can you?”

            I poked his side. “Yes. Watch me be patient.”

            Approximately fifteen minutes later, I couldn’t stand not knowing where we were going anymore. It took a tremendous amount of effort not to ask him. He had to know that I was going crazy, but he didn’t say a word, just brought my hand up to his lips to press a kiss to my knuckles. That distracted me for five seconds, and then the burning curiosity was back.

            “Ugh,” I groaned, jutting my bottom lip out in a pout.

            Levi grinned knowingly. “That didn’t take long.”

            “I haven’t asked, and that’s all that counts.”

            “Mhm. What else are you thinking about, other than where we’re going?”

            “Portland,” I told him. “I can’t wait to see your apartment, and the studio.”

            “I still can’t believe your dad is letting me drive you up there with me while he stays back here for a couple of weeks.”

            I slid across the bench seat until I was pressed against his side, his warmth encompassing me. Then I dropped my head onto his shoulder and ran the tip of my index finger up his thigh as I said, “He has great faith in you, Levi Ackerman. He fully expects you to provide me with food, shelter, and sexual gratification.”

            He scoffed. “I highly doubt he expects me to provide you with sexual gratification.”

            “Sure about that, are you?” I gave his thigh a gentle pinch. “Well, _I_ fully expect you to provide me with sexual gratification. Of course I’ll return the favor. I’m not unfair, you know.” I could practically hear him roll his eyes in response to that statement, but he brought his hand up to trace unknown patterns on my arm. I watched him do this for a while, and then I lifted my eyes up to his face. His brows were knitted together in worry, his lips pressed together to form a thin line. What was he thinking? I didn’t like that look.

            “Eren?”

            “Yes?”

            “Please don’t leave me again.”

            Where had that come from? “Levi—”

            “I’m serious,” he persisted. “Even if you want to spare me from pain, don’t. I want to be with you through everything. I want you every single day: the good and the bad and the terrible.”

            When I was recovering from surgery, I often wondered if I was making a mistake by keeping him away. The pain of being without him was overwhelming. Every second of every day, I wanted to call him, just to hear his voice, but I always convinced myself not to do it. I thought that he deserved to move on, to be happy without me, because I saw what I was doing to him as my health deteriorated. I couldn’t stand seeing him that way and knowing that I was the cause of it. I was the one that was sick. I was the one that was dying. So I left, knowing that my absence would force him to move on, but also hoping that he would love me no matter how much distance I put between us.

            “You’ve always asked me to stay with you,” I said, voice low, “but I never asked you in return because I was afraid to. I didn’t want you to feel tied down to me, not when I knew what IPF would do, but I’ve always wanted you to stay with me, Levi. Always.”

            He ran his finger over the promise ring that I wore and said, “I gave you my always a long time ago.”

 

(x)

 

When Levi pulled up in front of THE MALOO two hours later, I almost cried at the mere sight of it. As it was, I pressed my face against the glass of the passenger window to look at the building that housed the cinema I’d given Levi his first hickey in. There were too many memories that began here, all unfurling in my mind at once. Any second now, I would become a blubbering mess, because I never thought I’d be here in Trost again. Yet he’d gone out of his way to take me to the place we had our first date at before we ventured out into the world on our own.

            I swiveled around in the seat to face him. He smiled, a rare, shy smile that lifted the corners of his mouth and colored his cheeks a subtle pink. I stared at him for a few seconds before I threw myself at him, burying my face in his neck. His smell washed over me, so familiar and comforting. I wanted his arms to stay around me forever. I wanted to wake up each morning knowing he was there, knowing that I would get to see him grow as the years passed. I wanted it all. “You’re perfect,” I whispered against his neck, the first tear sliding down my cheek. “I’ll never leave you again.”

            His arms tightened around me. “Say it.”

            “Stay with me, Levi.”

            “Until time stops,” he replied, the same answer I’d given him the night I had returned. “And even after that, I’ll be there with you.”

            A shaky sob escaped me, the realization of my recovery hitting me all at once. I was alive and here with him. We’d made it. “Our atoms will collide together long after this planet has ceased to exist. We’ll find each other again. I know we will.”

            “Of course, because I’ll always be searching for you.”

            We stayed there for a long while, just holding onto each other. I never wanted to let go, not of him, not ever again.

            “Let’s go inside,” Levi said at last, leaning back and wiping at my tear-stained cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt. “We’ll sit in the same seats we did before.”

            I smiled. “'Kay.”

            Giving my cheek one last wipe, he pushed open the driver’s side door and climbed out. I was right behind him, hopping down to the asphalt as I held onto his shoulders, my red Converse’s standing out beside his black ones. I grinned at the small differences between us, we had been two separate galaxies that had smashed together head-on and became one. No matter what, we were a part of each other now, and had been from the moment he asked me out on that hideous gray bus.

            As he led me to the front entrance of the cinema, I marveled at the air that filled my lungs without any issue. There was no pain or tightness that accompanied the action. It was so new, this easiness of breathing, but I knew that there would always be a part of me that would remember the agony of being unable to breathe. Most people took breathing for granted, not even thinking about it as they went about their days. For them, it was a natural act. It’s only when you’ve been deprived of oxygen, struggling and desperate as your lungs heave inside of you that you know what a miracle breathing really is.

            The moment we stepped inside, the delicious smell of toffee was immediate. We hurried over to the ticket booth, where a tall blonde greeted us. “Welcome to The Maloo. How can I help you guys today?”

            “Two tickets to whatever is playing soon,” Levi said.

            “ _One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest_ started playing ten minutes ago,” the guy told us. “Is that fine with you two?”

            I nodded. “Yep, that’s perfect.”

            After the man tore off two pink tickets from the roll and handed one to each of us, Levi and I made our way over to the concession stand. Surprisingly, the same girl that had been here last time was standing behind the counter. When she saw us, her brilliant blue eyes lit up.

            “Hey, I remember you guys!” she shouted with excitement. The nametag pinned to the apron she wore dictated her as Emily.

            I waved at her. “Hi, Emily.”

            That made her smile widen. “Do you guys want some toffee?” she asked. We both nodded. “Okay, give me a minute.” She turned around and assembled a white cardboard box on the counter before she grabbed tongs to pick the toffee bars up with. She filled the box, closed the lid, and then handed it to Levi. He pulled out his wallet, but she shook her head. “Oh, no, my friend. That’s on the house. My treat.”

            “Thank you,” I said.

            “No problem.” She winked at us. “Can I get you anything else?”

            After we gathered up our loot—toffee bars, two fountain drinks, popcorn, and a pack of red licorice—we strode to the theatre room. I noticed Levi’s expression turn thoughtful as he gazed at the black and white photos that lined the walls, so much like the first time we were here, but I could see the differences in him. He’d lost weight in those four months that I was gone, and there were bags under his eyes that told me he had many sleepless nights. I didn’t want to think about how much pain he’d been through, because I would never be able to erase that time we’d spent apart. Whether I liked it or not, he would carry that heaviness in his heart for the rest of his life. There was nothing I could do to change that.

            As I thought this, Levi tilted his head back to look at me with such adoration in his eyes that I knew I would do anything to make him happy. I couldn’t change what happened, the suffering we’d been through, but I would be there for him from here on out, just like he’d been there for me when I needed him the most. It didn’t matter how long it took, I would give him everything he wanted.

            “You better not eat all of these,” he said, shaking the licorice pack.

            “Oh, I’m eating all of them. I may even get another pack before we head back to town.”

            “Gross.”

            I grinned and leaned closer to him. “Should I not kiss you after I eat them? They’ll be licorice flavored kisses.”

            “You better give me a ton of licorice flavored kisses.”

            “Will we even be watching the movie then?”

            He tapped my chest with the pack. “Hell yes we’ll be watching the movie. I didn’t drive our asses out here for you to have your way with me in a theatre room.”

            I pouted. “Fine.”

            He ignored me for five seconds before he said, “Oh, stop with the face. You know you can have your way with me anywhere you want.”

            Satisfied, I continued walking. When we entered the theatre room, both of us were surprised to see that it was packed. We exchanged looks right before we set off toward the seats that we occupied the last time we were here. Someone was on our side, because that row happened to be empty. I scurried over it, almost dropping the popcorn I held in my hurry, and plopped down in the plush seat I’d sat in months earlier. Levi just rolled his eyes as he took the seat next to mine.

            “I saw you almost drop that popcorn,” he whispered, sliding his drink into the cup holder attached to the armrest.

            “Shh, you saw nothing.”

            “Sure I didn’t.”

            The movie was already playing, so our whispering earned us several stares, but we pretended not to see them. I was too busy getting settled in my seat to care.

            “Thank you,” Levi said.

            I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. _Si belle._ So beautiful. “For what?”

            “The day I asked you out, you drew wings on our arms to grant me freedom from the town I hated. Do you remember?” I nodded and he went on, “By loving me, you taught me how to love myself, and the hatred that I had felt for so long lost meaning. So thank you for becoming my other wing.”

            “Thank you for becoming mine.”

           

(x)

 

On our way back to town, I couldn’t stop ranting about the movie. “How could they do that to him?” I asked for the umpteenth time since the film came to a close, like there was even an answer to that question. “He didn’t have anything wrong with him and they just go and scrape a piece of his brain out? How…? I’m suing! I’m suing the person who wrote the book, and the person who decided to make that book into a movie. I’ll never recover from this. Never.”

            With his eyes on the road ahead of us, Levi dissolved into a fit of laughter. I gawked at him, offended. “First of all,” he began when he regained his composure, “the guy who wrote the book died in 2001. Second of all, that’s how things were back then. They were cruel and merciless, even when they thought that they were doing the right thing by performing a frontal lobotomy on someone. There are countless movies like that one, and what makes them get under your skin is that there is truth behind the stories. How many people suffered from electroshock therapy and frontal lobotomies? Too much to count.”

            I shuddered. “I don’t want to think about it anymore.”

            “Come here.” He patted the empty spot next to him. I scooted across the bench seat and leaned my head on his shoulder. We stayed quiet for what felt like a long time, and then he said, “I can’t believe this is our last night here.”

            “I was thinking the same thing earlier. It’s crazy how everything is changing, but I’m excited for what’s to come. What about you?”

            “I’m excited that I’ll be living in a new city with you, but I’m also nervous about leaving Petra and Jean behind. If I could pack them into the car with us tomorrow, I would. It’s a little unnerving to think that I’ll be so far away from them. I mean, Jean can be such a dumbass sometimes, and Petra with her parents…”

            “They’ll be okay,” I said.

            “I know. I’ll just miss them like crazy.”

            “And they’ll miss you, but we’ll call them all the time. We’ll video chat with them and visit them whenever we can, so don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” I put my hand on his thigh, a little too high up to be considered chaste. “You know, I have to admit that the thought of you being a full-fledged adult kind of turns me on.”

            “Are you being serious right now?”

            “Mhm,” I hummed. “You’ll come home from work, and I’ll be waiting for you there at our apartment in nothing but a pair of boxers and one of your button down shirts.”

            “I swear to god, Eren. I’m driving.”

            I bit my bottom lip. “Picturing it?”

            “You know I am.”

            “Describe what you’re picturing. I want to know every detail.”

            His hands tightened on the steering wheel and he took a deep breath before he started to speak. “I’ll come home from work, tired from all the bullshit I had to put up with, and you’ll come rushing out of the studio to greet me in the entryway. I can see you covered in paint, just speckles of it on your arms and face, but you won’t notice it at all. You’ll be too excited to show me what you’ve painted, so you’ll usher me toward the studio, but before I let you tow me away, I’ll pull you into my arms. You will no doubt get impatient while I hold you, but I’ll be too happy to let you go, because you’ll smell of paint and something sweet.” He smiled. “It will be perfect, even when it’s not, because I’ll have you there with me.”

            “ _‘We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.’_ You’re more beautiful than any poem I’ve quoted. I hope you know that.”

            “I’ll only know if you stick around to keep telling me.”

            “I’ll always be around,” I said.

            He turned onto Petra’s street and we saw that her and Jean were out on the front porch of her house. When he parked the truck in the driveway, Jean threw himself onto the hood, scrambling up to press his crotch against the windshield.

            “Goddamnit, Jean!” Levi shouted, but he was smiling.

            Jean wiggled his hips. “Take it in, baby. Tomorrow you won’t be able to see it.”

            “I don’t want to see it!”

            While they bickered, I got out of the truck and was overwhelmed with gratitude. I had my family back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr](http://warriorflesh.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/dressed_in_darkness/)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Feel free to talk to me. :)


End file.
